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PARK
Park is the brawn of the Park-and-James operation and a native Shepherd Collegian. Now in his ten-and-a-halfth year (and still deciding on a major), he is a mere three credit hours shy of earning five different degrees. Park loves cooking and long walks on the beach, and is a Leo.
quote: “Anyone who’s had a job knows better than to leave college. Pass the New Castle.”
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JAMES
The brains of the duo, James plays “mini-me” to his elder 6-foot-2 counterpart and is nearing his seventh year at Shepherd. Damn near physically identical to Park (minus several piercings, pounds, and inches), James is always looking for new ways NOT to be confused with him. In his spare time he enjoys pulling pranks on high school tour groups, fearlessly bonging dangerous amounts of vodka, and ogling beautiful foreign women.
quote: “My name is not Park.”
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DANIELLE (aka. “D”)
She may be tiny, but she packs a punch. She sees herself as a mother to Park and James, although she’s quite unaware of how much mothering she needs herself. Frequently biting her nails over her career path, she’s a hard-working cartoonist who prays she can make it in the world of sequential art. Or at least fetch coffee for her idol, Frank Cho.
quote: “PAAAAARK!!!!”
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GRACIE
Gracie is the “Bad Conscience” of Danielle. Self-retitled as the “Realist Conscience,” she dissuades Danielle’s worries about life beyond graduation with mixed drinks. Gracie’s most beloved weapons are alcohol and the power of influence. She wears latex bodysuits exclusively.
quote: “Are you going to drink that?”
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CHERRY
Cherry Cherubim is the nearest thing to a “Good Conscience” Danielle will ever have. Don't be fooled by the schoolgirl-headband and halo; she's got a pottymouth that rivals even her sworn enemy, Gracie. For her size, she's a forceful little thing that grows violent when someone messes with her "human."
quote: “Woman shall not be judged by her breast size... asshole!!”
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VAL
Val can carry the world on her shoulders, as well as the server for a web design company and a few bruised and bleeding college students. A miracle to the graphic design department at Shepherd, she made it out in four years and now works full-time behind a computer, filling her off-hours as the Captain of her local ambulance station and a rookie firefighter. Although she never made it to super-seniordom, she finds herself equally longing to get out of her little town in Sharpsburg. Chevy trucks, Mac computers and brisket are her turn-ons. Men who can’t change their own oil are not.
quote: “Who needs a man when you can have a dremel tool?”
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the HOT GERMAN CHICK
The object of many a man’s lust, this Berlin born-and-bred hottie is instantly appealing with her sunshine hair, ocean eyes and exotic accent. But time will reveal her true personality: she is not stuck-up, prude, ditzy or even oozing with passion. What we DO know of her is that she’s big on horoscopes, headbanging rock, and experiencing American “traditions.”
quote: “I do NOT have a thing for David Hasslehoff!”
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the SOUTHERN BELLE
She’s hands-down the hottest bartender in town, and her cute-as-a-button southern accent can make a man’s heart somersault. But don’t mistake her for a debutante; she’s venomous toward the wrong admirer, and she’s all about the Benjamins when it comes to her job... although she makes a mean Long Island Iced Tea and can drink the boys under the table.
quote: “Not a snowball’s chance in hell, Grampa.”
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KRIS
Kris is Danielle's smart-alec roommate who only seems to visit when something's going wrong at the drawing board. He's Ramblers' official in-house critic and laugh-o-meter.
quote: “Your deadline was yesterday, Slacker.”
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